The Meltdown Blues
I have three wonderful daughters, as some of you may know, the oldest is four, the middle is two, and the youngest is six months. I love being a mother of girls, although I did want all boys because I am simply horrible at being a girl, what I can not handle is all that sass I get every single day. It makes me want to kiss the ground that my mother walks on for dealing with me when I was younger.
At Least once a month my three wonderful children have a harmonized atomic meltdown and of course, this normally occurs in public and always when I least expect it. I will find myself thinking about how wonderful they have been and it hits. My four-year-old is talking back severely, my two-year-old is, of course, doing everything big sister is, and because of the commotion, the baby is crying hysterically. Times like these I feel I am failing as a parent and everyone around me knows it. Half of the time I stop whatever I’m doing, no matter where it is, and I just leave with all the kids in mid meltdown.
Even after this atomic meltdown is over and done with, I have a feeling of almost heartbreak. I assume this is from being embarrassed, overwhelmed, and oblivious to why my children have acted the way they have. These are the times l am at my lowest of lows as a parent. Scenarios of all my girls growing up and, as they age, becoming out of control. This is my worst nightmare. I soon worry myself sick to the point I am looking for my pillow to cry in and my blanket to hide under.
My husband does not quite grasp how and why this makes me feel the way it does. Mainly because my husband is very stern with our children therefore they do mind him much more. Also, he is rarely present for such meltdowns. So while feeling like part of me has died inside from the monthly harmonized meltdown, venting to my husband normally does absolutely nothing but adds even more frustration.
So here I am, after having had one of these days, telling all of you other moms that it is not just your kids. It is not about how you parent. It is not your fault. You are doing your best and that is all that matters. I am here to say I know what you are feeling; the emptiness, failure, and heartache that comes with raising these tiny humans. You are not alone! Tomorrow is another day.
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